Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  Matthew 19: 14

St James is a vibrant community of all ages where our children are particularly welcome.  This leaflet has been produced, in response to numerous requests from Parishioners, in consultation with some of our parents who have experienced the challenges of bringing their own children to church.

Bringing my children to Mass

Families are a vital part of the St James Community and are encouraged to take part fully in all that we do.  The Mass is central to our existence as a worshipping community and we are encouraged to attend as a whole Christian family where children can recognise the mystery of the Eucharist and continue their journey in Faith.  Early learning is an essential element of a child’s deeper understanding of the Faith and as a parish we have a duty to help each other to achieve it.  This is why you are encouraged to take your place in the main body of the church rather than in the passage at the back.

Children’s Liturgy

The Church offers a Children’s Liturgy at the 10am Mass (except the second Sunday in the month).  This is run by volunteers – would you consider offering your services?  Children from the age of three are welcome; parents, however, are not welcome to stay! If your child isn’t ready to be left on their own, they’re not ready for Children’s Liturgy and should stay with you in the main celebration.

I can’t pray by noisy children – they shouldn’t be allowed into Church until they learn to behave

That’s missing the point entirely!  Children are as entitled to be there as anyone else.  The vast majority of children at Mass are extremely well behaved.  “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  Our community would be incomplete without children.  If you are worried about their behaviour, please recognise that it is only by bringing children into the Mass that they can see and learn from those around them.

Where should I sit with my children?

Please bring your children into the main body of the church.  By giving them the chance to participate in the Mass they can begin to discover the presence and stillness of the Lord, see how others behave in Church – both adults and other children – and can learn appropriate behaviour themselves.  Sitting at the front, where your child can see what’s going on, can often be a better option.

But my child is too noisy – I’m worried about him / her disturbing others

It’s normal for children to make some noise.  It is only by bringing them into the body of the church that they will feel part of the congregation and that they can learn how to be still in the Lord’s presence.  The odd squawk quickly quietened; the curious question, quietly answered; none of this will disturb anybody.  Sometimes children need to make more prolonged noise.  Children copy each other – if one child makes persistent noise others may well follow! Before this happens, those around you will appreciate you quietly taking your child to the corridor at the back of the church until they’ve quietened down and can be brought back in again.  The thundering of small feet around the Church will distract everybody – try to keep your child seated.

My child is persistently noisy but so what?  Everyone has a place in God’s church

All are welcome – we are the family of God.  The Church is nothing without its people and without the care they show for each other’s needs.  Children occasionally make some noise and those who attend without children are expected to understand this.  It is also expected that parents show consideration for their neighbours by keeping their children’s noise levels to a minimum – if they need to have a bit of a shout, take them to the back of the church so they can quieten down.   Persistent distractions will prevent you and those around you from focusing on the Eucharist. 

My child starts to be disruptive at the quietest moments of the Mass.  If I take him / her out, everyone will stare – I’d rather just wait until he/she decides to be quiet again

Every parent has been in that situation and will have nothing but sympathy! Your child will quickly learn that this kind of behaviour is unacceptable; ignoring that behaviour will not help them learn.  Consider your neighbours too – those around you are entitled to focus on the Mass and they, or other children, might not be as able as you to ignore the noise.

My child is noisy from the outset.  It’s easier for me and for everyone else if I don’t bring him / her into the main body of the Church at all

Such an approach denies your child the chance to learn from an early age what Mass is about and how one behaves during it.  Why not get into the habit of arriving at Mass a couple of minutes earlier than usual, pausing on the threshold of the Church and reminding your child that they’re about to walk into God’s House; that they should be quiet, respectful and show consideration for others; that they should sit still. 

An hour is a long time for a child to sit quietly and still

It is indeed.  Anything you can do to help your child understand what’s going on in the Mass is of course great.  The activity sheets handed out at the start of Mass are a good way of keeping little minds busy – did you know that there are boxes of crayons freely available at the back of Church?  There are also Mass Books especially designed for children.  A couple of other books might be useful too – again, there is a stock of children’s books that may be borrowed during the Mass at the back of church if you forget to bring your own.  A small (quiet!) toy might provide a useful distraction.

I’ve found that the best way to keep mine quiet is by feeding them

Tiny tots are definitely not quiet when they’re hungry – a bottle or rusk when needed is of course fine.  For older children, consider that by bringing your children into Church you are introducing them to the practice of Catholic worship and showing them what you expect normal behaviour in Church to be.  The idea that Mass time is Snack time is confusing – you wouldn’t snack during Mass.  The rustle of sweet packets and the snap of Tupperware lids can be as distracting as a noisy child!

We rejoice in having over 100 children at Mass each Sunday!  They are the future of the Church and are extremely welcome.  May we all help them, and ourselves, flourish in our journey in Faith. 

This leaflet has been prepared by the Parish’s Pastoral and Advisory Team: Andrew Dalgleish, Doreen Hairs, Joanna Longhurst, Mary Hutchinson, Chris Cahill, Graham Price and Fr Bryan Wells.

24th January 2010